You Had To Be There

Youtube.com is such a rich gold vein running through the collective body that is pop culture. I could waste my entire day watching people eat shit on treadmills. Too many people place their treadmill backed up against a wall. I wouldn't advise this, because if you eat shit, it causes a rolling effect to kick in. One of the things I find interesting about the whole Youtube phenomenon is that there are surveillance cameras all around society, and the infrastructure is built out of smart phones. we have the opportunity to witness these private moments in a public forum. "You had to be there" is becoming an obsolete phrase. I think smart phone manufacturers should work on incorporating a "quick draw" apparatus to help us catch these moments with more effectiveness and precision. I would wager that after the release of such a phone, the Youtube afternoons will become that much better.

Just returned from Charleston last night around 11:59:59. The flight was long, but the pilot somehow managed to get us to the gate 20 minute early, which meant there was an aircraft parked in our space. So we had to wait 20 minutes that excruciatingly slowly turned into 40 minutes. The trip, however, was a complete success, I had a great time meeting Laura's family, and I think nearly everyone liked me back. I got to see the sunrise over the ocean, a treat rarely, if ever, witnessed in the pacific north west. Took moonlight swims almost every night (on account of my sun issues...). I finished the book I was reading, read the book I wanted, and got started on a third. It was truly relaxing. There was a very nice screened-in front porch with a hammock I spent some time on. I even managed to apply SPF 100 sunblock and still get a little burned off the reflection in the driveway. It was even (mercifully) unseasonably cloudy. A very good time overall.

Somehow, whenever I return from vacation, I'm complete wiped out. Why is this?

Dodging Photons

Good morning Friends,

I recently secured a location for my upcoming 35th birthday party. It'll be held in a log cabin out in the woods and wilds of Issaquah. I'm talking a real life log cabin that was made out of the logs from the property it's sitting on. It's a little ways up a dirt road, but well worth the trip, the place is beautiful. All are invited. Seriously. All.

I'm heading out to Charleston tomorrow for a week, so if anyone tries to get a hold of me with no luck it's because I'm out dodging photons.

Ironic Mustache

I'd like to send a little message to the BASTARDS running city hall: If you'd like to have less traffic congestion in the down town metropolitan area, how about free parking for motorcycles -or- they can park on the sidewalk. Think about it, more motorcycles on the surface streets relieves traffic jams, increases smiles and decreases pollution. How is this not a good thing for every body involved? Isn't anyone listening to me?

Living on Capitol Hill I see a lot of "hipster" culture. One fashion I see cropping up more and more is young men wearing mustaches. The thing about the hipsters is that they intentionally make themselves look ugly because they are just cool enough to pull it off (which isn't actually true, but they seem to think so). You see a lot of mustard colored cardigans, tight trousers, and mustaches. Because they wear these things trying to look ugly, trying to look cool, I have dubbed such styles as "ironic". The ironic mustache is sweeping Capitol Hill.

Another way a mustache can be ironic is when it pops up in an unexpected place, or in an unexpected style. Do a google image search for "Otto Frank" (Anne Frank's father) and you'll see the ultimate example of an ironic mustache. It's down right hile-larious!  

Typing Sentences

I've been on land for a full 24 hours and I still feel the boat swaying beneath me. It'll be interesting to see how long this feeling lasts.

I don't have anything interesting to say, at this point I'm just typing sentences. And you're reading them. I bought the new Cannibal Corpse album, listening to it as I'm writing this post. It's pretty heavy, I guess.

I (Heart) Dramamine

Well, the cruise is going well. The boat sure moves more then I anticipated it would. The first day I came down and ate breakfast, then, in very prompt fashion, I fed it to the sea (and the side of the boat). Then one more very thorough purging and I was done. I ate enough Dramamine to kill a heard of elephants and slept pretty much the entire day. The next day was much better, and it's not been too bad since. We've seen whales (most likely killer whales, but I'd like to tell myself they were gray whales, or humpbacks). I don't know how many there were, but I'd guess over a hundred. no full on jumping, and most were pretty far out, some were close enough to hit with a beer bottle. It was pretty fucking rad. Then in Ketchikan there were so many eagles we were practically sho-ing them out of our faces.

It's been very fun, should be back in Seattle tomorrow (frown face...). This internet connection is kinda expensive, so I should probably get off here. Like now. Pronto. I shouldn't wait another minute. Not one more minute. Seriously, I'm not joking. They're charging by the minute, so I should get right off here. The longer I'm on here, the more I'm paying, so I seriously should sign out of this world wide web internet connection, cause it's getting expensive. Really expensive. Seriously.

63 Minutes

Today is finally cruise day! We're leaving from the Seattle waterfront at 4:00, but we have to be down there a few hours early, so it'll be about 63 minutes until I actually leave the apartment. I'll have my cell phone on me, but won't be using it for much other then the alarm. I think there will be internet access on the boat, so I'll try to post blogs from there if I can. Mostly I'll be out of touch until next Saturday.

Go Get Jack

Well, the fashion show looms ever closer. I ended up having two cancelations for my table, and one of those tickets has already been spoken for, so I have one extra if anyone's interested. It's $150, June 14th at 11am in the Seattle Weston. Should be a fun time indeed, and I promise to throw out my very best "Blue Steel" look as I strut my shit down the catwalk.

I just finished watching 5 seasons of Dexter. Pretty good show, but one thing about going on a huge binge of all available episodes of a given show is you catch on to common themes and lines of dialogue that reoccur throughout the series. For instance, I've seen all episodes of "Sex and the City" (a fact I'm not necessarily proud of, but kind of) a common line spoken by the the main character's narration is "meanwhile, across town...". In Dexter, one of the common lines is "She/he sees me for who I really am". In Lost, one of the lines is "Go get Jack". In Family Guy, it's "Just like that time we...". In The Sopranos, it's "Fucking cunt".

In other news, The Mars Volta came out with another album. It's pretty much mind blowing, but if that band took a shit onto a flat rock, then smeared it around so it dried in the hot sun, I'd probably think that was mind blowing too.

Anyway, I'm off to brunch.

Daft Manner

One thing I've been doing a lot lately is watching television shows on DVD. It's a much more efficient method by which one may ingest televised material. I've gone through all seasons of a few shows, but most recently The Sopranos. Now, I've seen The Sopranos from beginning to end, but it's been many years and I can't remember all the plot twists and turns and what-have-you. I remember it ending (spoiler alert?) abruptly, but watching it again re-reminded how absolutely witless that series ended. I guess it emphasizes  one very important thing about life: it's not about the ending, it's about the journey. I know, that's pretty cliche, but that show was really great, but ended in the most daft manner. Is the measure of the entire piece of art dictated by the final instant? No, the show is still maddeningly entertaining and cleaver, creative and innovative.

I'm currently making my way through Dexter, and I'll be starting Breaking Bad today with my dad. Thursdays have become our hang out day and we thought it would be fun to get into a series together.

Anyway, I have 2 more seats for the fashion show. Remember: it's in the middle of the day on a Thursday, and it's $150. I'm not trying to discourage you, I'm just wanting to enable you to make a fully informed decision.

Swing Your Mullet

The fashion show plans continue to develop. Next week I've got a meeting with the woman designing my outfit for a fitting, then I have to go to a meeting to have a head shot taken and lessons on how to work the run way. This should definitely be a unique experience. There's still 4 available seats at my table if anyone's interested.

The tickets for our Alaskan cruise have been purchased. We're leaving right from the Seattle waterfront on May 12th and returning on the 19th. Then I get two weeks at home, then off for another week on the beach in Charleston for Laura's birthday. Her family rents a beach house the same week every year for her birthday, so I get to meet the whole family. I won't be able to play on the beach much, at least not during the day time, but I'm told there's a screened-in porch with a hammock, perfect for reading. And as luck would have it, Stephen King is releasing the 8th book in the Dark Tower series in a couple weeks, I might try to not read it till the beach house, but no promises.

I finally rode Danger to work for the first time yesterday since getting her back. I think I've got some very deep mental trauma that I'm not even consciously aware of that's preventing me from riding. I'll definitely get over it, that's for sure. As I see the weather warming up, I can feel my issues melting away. Besides, I've been enjoying the heck out of the Bug. Finally got some speakers installed, and now waiting to get the stereo hooked up, then I'll finally be able to rock out and swing my mullet around. Finally.

Decked in Leather

I just got home from seeing my favorite scientist (Richard Dawkins) give a lecture. How many people have a favorite scientist? Show of hands? It was great, I would consider this person to be one of my personal heros, so seeing him speak was really special.

In other news, the plans for that fashion show are moving forward. I went to a little soiree last week at the Neiman Marcus in Bellevue. I had to pass through a registrar to enter the event, and my name wasn't on "the list". I actually used a sequence of words I never thought I would: "I'm one of the models". I was let right in. As it turns out, there are 20 models, and two are dudes; me and a guy that looks to be about 50ish. Its fun because a cancer survivor usually isn't young, so me being in this show is a treat for some of the organizers. I met the woman who is going to be designing my outfit. She has a studio in Pioneer Square and works mostly in leather and fur. She told me her motorcycle jackets usually fetch around $3200. And she's gonna put a whole outfit together especially for me. I'm so lucky to have cancer!!!

Regarding attending the actual event, it's on June 14, and I believe it's in the afternoon. There are a limited number of tables, and each table has ten seats. A person signs up to be a "table captain", committing to filling the table with people or pay for the empty seats. The BIG catch is that it's about $150 per person. I went ahead and became a table captain so there would be a place for people who might want to see me decked out in fine leather (I still can't believe this is happening...). Two of the seats are currently spoken for, so I have 8 remaining. I figure you could tell me through this blog's comments, by facebook, by e mail (seattle252@gmail.com) or whatever if you'd be interested. Hopefully I can find 8 people, but even if I can't, it'll be worth it :)

Peace, love and harmony to all creatures with the possession of sentience!